Everything I needed to know I learned from the MTA - Part 4

You are the variable in your own life.

Every train ride that I take seems to be different from the last one. Some days it feels longer. Some times it seems that the trip wears me out more and other days, I look up and I'm at my stop before I even realize it. As for my fellow straphangers, for the most part, they are actors playing roles. The roles remain the same and the people change, even though there are some that make repeat performances. My cast of characters always includes business people, students, pregnant women, panhandlers, tourists, weirdos, and other secondary roles. The train itself always stops at the same 25 stops, for the most part. So then why is every ride to work or back home so different from its predecessor? One reason: me. I change every day. My mood , my departure time, what I choose to do on my train ride, or even where I sit, can be different from day to day. As a result, each train rain holds a different experience in store for me.

In life, certain things remain constant. For some of us, it is a job. For others it's school. For even more still it may be family. Whatever it is, we will always be the changeable variable in our life's equation. If you are working at the same job and you feel like you're not going anywhere, something should be changed. Chances are, the job is not going do the changing. That leaves one option: the change must come from you. Whether you seek a new position in the company more aggressively, or you go back to school, or you just leave entirely, change must happen for progress to occur. Like Einstein once said, the very definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result". As we recognize that our train ride is dependent on us, so should we see how we also control the things in our life that we want to change. If things are to be different, we have to be the catalyst.

Everything I needed to know I learned from the MTA - Part C

Most things that bother you, only do so for a while.

The main tenet of the MTA is that it is a form of MASS transit. Implicit in that statement is the fact that you share subway cars with a LOT of people. It is inevitable that one of or a few of your fellow riders will do something that is going to bother you. The form, frequency, and length of that disturbance is varied and can range from the mariachi band on your morning commute or the homeless man who reeks of week old urine. The good thing that most of us know is that these annoying happenings will only last for a stop or two. Concurrently, if it seems like the irritating agent lingers, WE can move ourselves by switching train cars or even entire trains. As a result, you'll notice that NYers tend to not getting too twisted out of shape about things that bother them on the train.

In life, we have to deal with stuff that rubs us the wrong way all the time. We deal annoying friends, that uncle who is embarrassing, the boss we can't stand, or any myriad of people and situations that disturb our peace. While in the midst of the event or person or circumstance, we feel like it will never stop or that the end point seems to be so far away. We take a class with a horrible professor and suddenly the end of the semester seems so far away. Thinking back on our lives, though, how often does something that was a major annoyance in our lives seem like a blip on the radar I'm retrospect. We look back and laugh about how disturbed we were then and how insignificant it seems now.

Think about how we would live our lives if we could look at our present irritations in that fashion. The curious things is that we do that on the trains. We either hunker down and deal with whatever the new egregious thing is or we remove ourselves for its presence. There is a song in the Broadway musical 'Avenue Q' called 'For Now' and it talks about the fact that no matter what is bothering you, it's only "for now" and not to worry about it too much. Just like on the train, our agents of disturbance will only be in our lives for temporary period. Grin and bear it and enjoy your life in spite of them because the truth is that there will ALWAYS be things that bother us but they're all temporary! Occasionally there are irritants that have a little more staying power. In though cases, we generally have the ability to "move to another train car" and make a decision to not be around the thing or person causing us grief. But it has to be a conscious decision. Just like the ones we make on the train.

Everything I needed to know I learned from the MTA - Part II

Enjoy what you have while you have it.

Every time I, or any of us, take the MTA, there we are presented with a view. Some days it's an empty car and we have nothing but subway ads in front of us. Other times, it's a beautiful person that is pleasing to the eye. Other times still, it is something curious or odd that give you pause (this makes up the majority of my views!). Riding the train has made me consider formulating what I probably will call "Replacement Theory" and the premise is that things that are in our scope of experience in life tend to get replaced and the brain does curious things depending on whether it's an upgrade or a downgrade. For now let's talk about the downgrades.

There have been countless times that an attractive woman or man has been in my line of sight and I had no issue with raising my head from whatever I was reading/writing and looking around and check my surrounding. Then we get to a stop and that person gets off and someone takes their place who forces me to stare in disbelief or to avert my eyes for fear that I may scar my corneas! Moreover, it makes me wish for the return of the previous person, even if they were marginally attractive!

In life, we have people who come into our sight path, so to speak, and we don't recognize how much we valued them until they're gone. It is most obvious when we speak about loved ones and friends, but what about that teacher that you never noticed until they were replaced by a crappy one? Or the boss you complained about but wasn't really that bad who gets replaced by a real jerk that you can't stand? We have an abundance of people in our lives that we take for granted, not realizing how bad it really could be.

Today, thank goodness for the person on the train in front of u who is at least wearing pants because you never know if the next one is. And be thankful for the people in your life who, at the very least, don't bring you grief because the person that may replace them may be your worst nightmare. Remember: the devil you know may be better that the devil you don't know.

Due Justice

Normally I don't post very many things of a political nature but today I have a simple question:  Am I imagining things or is what they did to Charlie Rangel a miscarriage of justice? Granted he was a bit theatrical with his request to have time to raise money for a lawyer but how do you simply decide not call ANY witness and pronounce the man guilty in ONE day? Far less egregious crime generate trials that are ten times as long. This can't be fair or just.   These are my thoughts....what are yours?

Train Chronicles #6 - get outa that seat!

Everyday I see violations of subway etiquette ranging from simple not even acknowledging that your big ole purse is banging into someone sitting in front of you to the age old intrusion into personal space when there actually is room in the car. Yup, I see it every day. However, most of the time I can chalk it up to them being inconsiderate or unaware of their surroundings. Very rarely is it just completely rude and obnoxious. THIS morning was one of those rare occasions and the perpetrator was in rare form indeed.

Let me set this up for you: I'm on my regular 2 train headed to work. The configuration on the 2 is that you have un-grooved bench seats facing each other with a pole in between (I've actually seen people "work" that pole before but that's a story for another post). The pole separates the bench into space for three and four. I was sitting on the end of the "three" section by the door. The offending party was standing in front of the door to my right and the car was full of people. The person in the seat next to me, to my left, got up and left the train at the next stop. There were two people in front of the now empty seat and one in front of me, all of which were closer to the seat that this hooligan. As you are reading this, I HOPE you don't think that she recognized this fact and let them have it.

Oh no! She pushed past three people to get to the seat and yelled at the man standing IN FRONT OF the seat to
"Get outa that seat!"
in her gruff, gravely bark of a voice. Everyone was astounded by what an ass this woman was but it gets better. One woman, who was one of the people that were closer to the seat than she was, said
"Can I please sit?"
to which this troll answered,
"Nope!"
The other woman then said
"Fine! LET the pregnant woman stand!"
Now, admittedly, this woman wasn't showing that much so it would have been hard to know that she was with child. But once she made that statement, the right thing to do would have been to apologize for being a jerk and offer the seat to her. This cretin did neither and continued to read a romance novel which probably contained descriptions of things that NO MAN would ever want to do to her!

This was by far the worst train etiquette violation that I have seen in a long while. Have you seen anything worse than this?

Brothers from the Bottom

This is a post I was supposed to write weeks ago. I am a patron of the arts and so I have been a varied array of theatrical productions. They range from Broadway big budget numbers to community theatre. I think that I have a good eye for what's well done and for what's not. Whereas there are probably really good production being delivered at some local theaters, generally community theatre is not great, and some times is down right bad! That said, I am a big critic for what is called the "chitterlings circuit" and the works that it produces. For those of you unfamiliar to it, the chitterling circuit" (pronounced chit-lin's) are plays and musicals that pander directly to the African American audience and the production value is typically low. The most famous product of this genre is Tyler Perry and the Madea series.  Quite often, it's just a vehicle for past-their-prime singers to belt out a few more songs before the disappear into complete obscurity.

So it is with this back drop that I went to see "Brothers from the Bottom" at the Billie Holiday Theater at Restoration Plaza in my beloved Brooklyn, NY. We were supporting a friend whose organization was supporting the production but I in no way felt that I was going to see a quality production. I. Was. So. Wrong.

"Brothers from the Bottom" is a smart, well written play by Jackie Alexander and I was very pleasantly surprised by it.  It's set in New Orleans, post Katrina, and follows the story of two brothers (Nicoye Banks and Warner Miller) as they navigate through decisions that affect the entire community in which they both grew up. The actors were on mark and delivered their roles with passion without going over the top, as is the trademark of the chitterling circuit. I keep waiting for one of them to break into buffoonery but it never happened.  Even the comic foil in the play, played by Neko Parham, managed to portray his character with humor interlaced with an authenticity that was refreshing.

The story itself, save for points where I felt the writer hurried it along in the interest of time, was layered and very smartly interlaced the stories that we have come to hear repeatedly from that region into the flow of the play. The writer gave the actors a script that they sink their teeth into and the actors did the writer justice. The script had a clear message but it wasn't overbearing or heavy-handed. In addition, the writer avoided what had to be very tempting story line tangents, such as infidelity and drug use, to spice up the production. He stayed on course and delivered a truly thoughtful depiction of the real situations occurring in the Big Easy right now.

It only saddens me that the play will probably not get as much traffic as it should. If not for the family friend that got us the tickets, I would not have thought to purchase them. What's worse is that when I went to Restoration Plaza's website, finding information on the play was not as easy as it should be. Lastly, in the area around the theater, there are hundreds, and maybe even thousands, of posters for parties, movies, and albums posted all over. There was not one for the play. I think it is always sad that information about enriching aspects of our community get drowned out by posters for parties which depict half naked women who would never attend the party that they are on the poster for! We need to better.

Over all, though, if you have a few extra discretionary fund dollars, spend it on two tickets to "Brothers from the Bottom". You will not be disappointed. I wasn't!

Every thing I needed to know I learned from the MTA - part 1

In the long journey that is life, people will come in and out of your life. Some, however, will be with you through your entire ride. 

My typical ride is about 90 minutes and I go through a number of different cast of characters by the time I get to where I'm going. It first changes at downtown Brooklyn, then again at Wall Street, once more at midtown and lastly, uptown. Very rarely, is there someone on the train who ride is as long as mine but occasionally I notice a fellow weary straphanger.

Life is the same way: by the time we are finished with our lives, we would have had a few different groups of people around us. There are the people from the neighborhood that we grew up with who then get replaced or augmented by our friends from HS/college. Soon we will have work companions, and if we're lucky, a family of our own, sometimes more than one! Through it all, there are a few people that stay with us: a trusted friend, a life long love, a close sibling.

Just like on the train, we need to look around and enjoy the stories from these different groups as they unfolding before us. More importantly, we need to recognize when there are people who have been there for the whole ride and, even though they may not speak to you, there is at least one person who saw it all and went through everything you did.

Old Rappers

Old school concerts are always enjoyable, especially if you are "of a certain age". It's always fun to relive the times when that music came out, sing the lyrics out loud, and even do some of the old dances. This is true of all genres of music. But this brings me to a very interesting phenomenon.

This weekend I saw Nice N Smooth perform and Greg Nice made a very interesting point. He said the rappers of today don't love hip-hop the way the old school does. He said everyone in the rap industry wants to get out of the rap game before they're thirty. They want to get rich fast, get out and retire young. He said that he want to be doing this until he's old like Mick Jagger and Sting. This resonated with me deeply because I think this is what really separates old school rappers from the ones of today: it used to be a lifestyle and an art back in the day and now it's just a means to an end. And the fans are to blame too.

People make fun of Jay-Z for being 40 and still rapping but no-one gives R Kelly grief for putting music out and they hit the scene at the same time, are the same age, and the same race. It is simply a matter of musical genre. The rappers today look at hip hop as a money making vehicle not as an art form. They talk about it in the same way that drug dealers speak about the narcotics trade: get in, make your money, and get the hell out.

But which came first? Their reluctance to keep rapping and therefore after they make a few dollars, they disappear. Or is it that after three albums, we no longer want to hear from them? Or even more important, do they only have enough talent for one or two albums and then are relegated to the realm of "featured artist"? This also brings up an issue that I will deal with in my next post which is that we 'put stuff down' quickly and leave it for other people take up. The question I need answered is where are the people that, like Greg Nice, want to keep making quality music until they're old like Sting AND have the talent to do so? These are my thoughts....what are yours