While watching Desperate Housewives the other night, one of the story lines made me angry but then made me think a bit. In the show, one parent who recently making tons of money, surprised the family with a dream vacation. The other parent who had diligently been planning the family vacations when they were rubbing nickels together was furious. The whole thing felt like she didn't like being shown up. The story line in the show was absolutely RIDICULOUS! But it did make me think: in an effort to be good to our children, do we set up an uneven dynamic in the home? When I come home from work and shower my daughter with affection after my wife has been struggling with her all day, does she view me as the nice one and my wife as the authoritarian? Or when my wife presents her with gifts or new things, does she become the generous one and me, the tightwad? At what point do you have to consult with the other parent when you want to do something nice for your child? I understand if it interferes with previous plans (joint calendars help with that...sometimes...). Every now and again I come across great opportunities and they may trump anything else planned for that day. The other things is that what wrong with wanting to be viewed at 'that parent'? Suppose you WANT to be the parent that shows up with ice cream unexpectedly or always comes home with surprise tickets for a ball game or the circus? I personally don't think that both parents NEED to be equal in every single way. We all play roles and there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with one provider assuming one...as long, of course, it isn't completely overshadowing the other. Think of your own parents/elders: they had characteristics that you came to expect from them. Did it make one better than the other?
These are my thoughts...what are yours?
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Hidden gems
New York is one of the most eclectic city that you will ever live in. It is full of diversity, intermingled cultures, and interesting neighborhoods. The one thing about New York neighborhoods is that they tend to have 'personalities' and reputations. Recently though, there has been a decided shift in certain personalities because of a version of urban sprawl that I would describe as 'hipster sprawl'.
I recently had to describe a 'hipster' to my mother and what I said was that a hipster is what would result if a bohemian and a yuppie had a child. They have a grungy, laissez-faire affect but with a higher level of disposable income than the original bohemians. They have become very trendy and when they settle into a neighborhood, that neighborhood tend to take on their characteristics to cater to them. The perfect example of this is Williamsburg. The neighborhood now has trendy restaurants and boutiques where bodegas and 'dollar stores' used to be.
But why are they 'moving into' neighborhoods? I surmise that the rent in Manhattan hoods that are popular, where they would LIKE to live, is still out of reach for anyone who professes to espouse a counter culture. So they move where they can afford. It started with neighborhoods like the L.E.S. and Harlem and then they started running out of real estate in Manhattan. That brought them to Brooklyn, my home.
I've already talked about Williamsburg but this weekend my wife and I literally stumbled upon RED HOOK! When I was growing up, you DID NOT venture into Red Hook without a purpose and a guide! Now it seems that this is the new place to hang out and there is a vibrant community growing down there. It's weird for me to say that I spent the day hanging out in Red Hook and I plan to go back with my daughter!! So it begs the question: what other hidden treasure troves am I missing out on?
These are my thoughts...what are yours?
I recently had to describe a 'hipster' to my mother and what I said was that a hipster is what would result if a bohemian and a yuppie had a child. They have a grungy, laissez-faire affect but with a higher level of disposable income than the original bohemians. They have become very trendy and when they settle into a neighborhood, that neighborhood tend to take on their characteristics to cater to them. The perfect example of this is Williamsburg. The neighborhood now has trendy restaurants and boutiques where bodegas and 'dollar stores' used to be.
But why are they 'moving into' neighborhoods? I surmise that the rent in Manhattan hoods that are popular, where they would LIKE to live, is still out of reach for anyone who professes to espouse a counter culture. So they move where they can afford. It started with neighborhoods like the L.E.S. and Harlem and then they started running out of real estate in Manhattan. That brought them to Brooklyn, my home.
I've already talked about Williamsburg but this weekend my wife and I literally stumbled upon RED HOOK! When I was growing up, you DID NOT venture into Red Hook without a purpose and a guide! Now it seems that this is the new place to hang out and there is a vibrant community growing down there. It's weird for me to say that I spent the day hanging out in Red Hook and I plan to go back with my daughter!! So it begs the question: what other hidden treasure troves am I missing out on?
These are my thoughts...what are yours?
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