We all have butts.
Some of us have larger ones than others but we all own one, even if yours is simply the truncation of your spinal column. Associated with this point is that we all have had them all our lives. For some of us, they have gotten bigger where some of us have had diminished assets. But that doesn't happen over night.
Why am I focusing in on butts today? Simple. As a human you know EXACTLY how much space your butt takes up and unless you have SERIOUS spacial recognition issues, you can tell whether your butt will FIT into a space. Spaces like seats on a subway car! If I'm on a train where there aren't those grooved seats to suggest the acceptable size of derriere that should be plopped down there (which I find obnoxious), I normally can judge whether my tuckus will fit in the opening. Why aren't other people doing this? People try to squeeze into spaces that they absolutely have NO business trying to navigate and end up literally sitting on the person next to them. Take one wild guess as to who the person sitting next to them is: ME! I have someone sit on me at least once a day and I am seriously considering charging people for the free lap dance that they are stealing from me!
And not to sound ageist but the WORSE offenders are our seniors! You figure they have had THEIR butts the longest and therefore have the most experience navigating their cabooses. NOPE! It's always some septuagenerian resting a full cheek on my lap before he settles in and farting all the way down to add insult to injury!
This may seem like a small thing but I'm so done with it.
These are my thoughts....what are yours?
9 comments:
One of my pet peeves. I usually don't adjust my position just to drive the point home that the offender just cannot fit. The person is usually sitting there uncomfortably; you can tell by the forward lean.
Perhaps we should start wearing something hard or spiked on our laps, just to give them that extra pinch...
That's a BRILLIANT idea! I'm going to put my keys in my pockets and point them outward! Brilliant!
Glad I could help :-)
(From Ronke)
As one of the more posterior-enhanced people of this world, I support this message.
But shit sometimes we just gotta saddown, especially the old folk. Lmao!
Nah if I'm on the train and I know it'll be a squeeze, I just stand. *shrug*
I saw one guy just outright say "No, you can't fit" and made no gesture to accommodate the individual. The person made a gesture to attempt to ignore his advice and the guy adamantly reiterated "I said you can't fit so can't sit here!" I guess sometimes people just need some encouragement to move on.........
I have considered telling people to keep it moving but I am normally made aware of their desire to sit AFTER they have initiated the motion. By that time I'm giving them the 'stank face' and trying to re-enter my little private bubble! Ughhh
The A train has some of the biggest offenders. Probably because they don't have the bucket seats to regulate "tush size."
Well - the Tash has physically pushed people before... try that!
That does not surprise me!
Post a Comment