Trains are interesting inventions. Especially subways. Someone decided that traveling underground was a good idea and a bunch of people agreed with him. Today we stand on platforms and feel the artificial wind at the trains lumber through the tunnels, pushing the stale air onto our face like a vile, imitation subterranean wind. That does not compare, however, with the vile winds that emanate from the sphincter of some of the passengers on the train.
It's bad enough that we have to share the same air but it's downright unconstitutional to further pollute it with your emanations! You know who you are but I've compiled a list:
- The dude who sits in the middle of everyone and raises one cheek ever so slightly to facilitate the escape of the noxious fumes
- The woman who sits there quietly reading her magazine but secretly spreading her womanly charms into the nostrils of her unfortunate victims sitting next to her.
- The guy who stands directly in front of a sitting passenger and blasts the unsuspecting person with a maniacal stream of SBDs.
These are just a few but they all are offensive. You know you're having a gassy day! You felt the rumblings of an unsettled mass of putrid gas bubbling in your gut when you started your trip. Go stand in the corner. In fact, I am advocating for a fart corner to be assigned on every subway car. I'm actually ok with that kind of segregation. And when you are finished destroying the ozone layer, you can rejoin the rest of the people on the train who had the courtesy of not eating beans before they boarded the subway.
I'm jus' sayin' ... These are my thoughts...what are yours?
2 comments:
We need to get you driving to work again
I think that I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
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