When I was growing up I lived in two neighborhoods that were very inter connected. In other words, everyone knew everyone else. It was in the last days of the 'village' raising the child where you dare not act up because there were eyes on you from everywhere. I felt that my mother and, subsequently, my grandmother, knew EVERYONE! Furthermore,I KNEW that they were in cahoots with my teachers because they CAME to my school and let the teachers know that if I ever misbehaved or got into trouble, that they could ...check that....SHOULD call her and let her know. There was no place to hide so I played it straight. I never knew whether I would run into one of my mother or grandmother's friends if I cut school, or snuck a cigarette, or hid to drink a beer. So I never did. I was a 'good' kid and I think that I am better for it.
Fast forward to today and I now have a kid of my own. A couple of days ago one of my Facebook friends posted on my wall that she had seen my daughter on the subway platform with my wife. She said that she wished that she had service so that she could send me a FB alert that my daughter was in good hands! I thought it was hilarious but it made me think. My friends see my daughter out and about with me or her mother or grandmother all the time. They know what she looks like and the people who she SHOULD be with look like as well. I suddenly felt very secure.
Conventional wisdom has warned us to not over expose ourselves on Facebook because of lurkers but doesn't it have the opposite effect as well? Clearly, I'm not about post my child's schedule on the site but because of the pictures I HAVE posted, people know when they see her, who she should be with. I feel secure that if they happen to see her with the wrong person, I would know about quickly from a post. And there are a LOT of eyes out there! I have over 3000 friends on FB!
Truthfully, I see this as an interesting circumstance for Clarke later on when she becomes a teenager! Could you image having a mother AND father who know THOUSANDS of people and who share pictures of you all the time. It would be a different thing if my wife and I were actual celebrities. Then she could understand the myriad of eyes on her but she won't even benefit from the trappings of fame! Just a bunch of people constantly watching her every move, good and especially bad. I apologize now, baby girl. Your adolescence is going to be ROUGH!!
These are my thoughts...what are yours?
10 comments:
We have eyes all over...
It's gonna be fun to see the 3 of you chasing these girls all over the place! Lol good luck.
I remember when that statement used to mean something entirely different!!
But you're right though: fathers have been doing that for centuries. But NOW we have more tools for keeping tabs on them. I haven't even talked about the GPS tracking in the phones and the locator devices that you can put in cars. And the tech will only get better. Soon I'll be able to turn satellites towards my daughter to hear her conversation from miles away...kinda like how the government does now...(I'm sure I just made it onto someone's list with that last comment...)
Hmm. I'm hesitant to share your enthisiasm. People are ppl, and ppl are multifaceted. They may show you a different facet in person vice online, but at the end of the day, ppl who are gonna look out for Clarke's best interests woulda done so with or without FB. My point is, increased visibility doesnt always = greater care. Of the 3000 ppl on FB, maybe 500 would know Clarke on sight; 250 would tell u about Clarke sightings; *maybe* 50 of em might step in if they see Clarke up to no good (lol).
So....I guess my REAL point is, FB doesn't expand your true village (support network). It just equips the members of your *already existing* village, better.
-Arrah
"enthUsiasm"
*facepalm*
-Arrah
Thanks for that comment Arrah but does that mean that you have 250 MORE set of eyes than you would without social media? What I neglected to clarify is that the people that I communicate with on FB aren't around me on a normal basis. In fact, I haven't physically seen the woman that left me the original post in over ELEVEN years! She's never actually met Clarke or my wife but she was looking out for my daughter. I hear you but I do think it expands your 'village'.
I would argue that she was in your 'village' all along, 11 year break notwithstanding. However I do consider your point valid, ie FB (da innanets in general) does expand your network of friends. Heck, look at our listserves, for eg.
#VivaLeRatchet
-Arrah
Eggs-Zack-Lee! I have NEVER met but we speak every day thanks to internet connections. That's exactly my point.
...as it should be...
That has to be one of the best purposes for FB I've ever heard, and seriously gave me something to think about.
I still live by the "village" mentality and recently saw it in action at a rehearsal where one kids kept acting out of pocket and the mother did nothing, even after the kid picked up one of the babies and dropped him on his head. Several of my sorors and I all swooped in to give all children present a tongue lashing that we all chuckled over later realizing we were all saying the same things in the same manner. Long live the "village".
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