My wife has no siblings. I am an only child. Even with that fact, my daughter has MULTIPLE Aunties and Uncles, and countless cousins. How is this possible, you ask? Well it's the age old tradition of "play cousins". Play Cousins are people who you have grown up with or are close to your family, that you publicly declare are your family. And they don't have to be cousins: there are play sisters and brothers, play auntie and uncles, and even play moms and dads. I used to think that this was a Black thing more and more I am finding out that lots of cultures adopt family members who are not related to them in any fashion! It made me wonder why we would want to ADD family members.
The old saying goes that "you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family." Maybe that is the rationale behind play cousins. Sometimes our own family are deficient in some way...OK that's putting it nicely...sometimes they're CRAZY. Are play cousins are the ones that we want to be around?
Family is a wonderful thing. They are people that are SUPPOSED to love and care for you. Could it be that sometimes we want to share that with others and bring them into our circle?
Whatever it is, I love the fact the my daughter, a child of two only children, will never want for an extended family. She will be surrounded by her real family, her play cousins, and of course, her parent's play families. The poor child's family tree is going to look like an orchard!!!
These are my thoughts...what are yours?
2 comments:
i love this! It's so true. I think it's healthy if not downright NECESSARY to supplement family. Plus sometimes you meet people and just CANNOT BELIEVE how much you relate to them. You feel like you must have been seperated at birth. You and your wife have an unending quantity of that relateability which is why your family will never stop growing.
Nice post. I have always told people i have never felt like an only child because I have embraced so much family. 90% of the people I call family are play cousins but 100% of them are closer to me than anything!
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