Micro blogs

This week I will be posting a bunch of Micro Blogs on a number of topics that I have been pondering but I haven't been able to flesh out a full blog on the subjects. I hope they invoke conversation but if they don't, I just wanted to get them off my mind!

Loss of innocence

Recently, I went to Disney's Princesses on Ice with my daughter. While trying to summon the internal fortitude to withstand the barrage of screaming pre-teens, I noticed something quite disturbing. In the row in front of us, an older woman and what I assumed was her granddaughter took their seats. The young woman who I would guess was around 13/14, was busy BBMing someone. Both my wife and I remarked on a time when ONLY business men had Blackberrys! Now even kids have them. But that's not what disturbed me. From where I sat, I could see her BBMs and they were full of curses and adult language. It made me wonder why a young girl still interested in Disney Princesses could at the same time be able to have such a potty mouth. I felt that I was officially completely befuddled by girl and, vis-a-vis women. Someone help as I attempt to raise my daughter

Family....sorta...

My wife has no siblings. I am an only child. Even with that fact, my daughter has MULTIPLE Aunties and Uncles, and countless cousins. How is this possible, you ask? Well it's the age old tradition of "play cousins". Play Cousins are people who you have grown up with or are close to your family, that you publicly declare are your family. And they don't have to be cousins: there are play sisters and brothers, play auntie and uncles, and even play moms and dads. I used to think that this was a Black thing more and more I am finding out that lots of cultures adopt family members who are not related to them in any fashion! It made me wonder why we would want to ADD family members.

The old saying goes that "you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family." Maybe that is the rationale behind play cousins. Sometimes our own family are deficient in some way...OK that's putting it nicely...sometimes they're CRAZY. Are play cousins are the ones that we want to be around?

Family is a wonderful thing. They are people that are SUPPOSED to love and care for you. Could it be that sometimes we want to share that with others and bring them into our circle?

Whatever it is, I love the fact the my daughter, a child of two only children, will never want for an extended family. She will be surrounded by her real family, her play cousins, and of course, her parent's play families. The poor child's family tree is going to look like an orchard!!!

These are my thoughts...what are yours?

Fan-tastic

So I am a die hard Jets fan. I don't like the team. I don't root for the team. I am not a bandwagon fan. I am a J-E-T-S FAN!!!  There is sooo much implicit in that one statement . Fan comes from the word fanatic. Fanatic as in a person with EXTREME ZEAL!  Fans are crazy people and that is no more evident than when your team is contention for that sport's championship. The Jets are one game away from going to the Super Bowl and that has resulted in some of the strangest behavior from otherwise sane, and normally docile, people! For instance:

• First, everyone congratulates you on your team's victory or gives you hell when they lose. But the truth of the matter is that you have never played on microsecond for the team nor do you have 2 cents invested in the ownership, so why do people act like you have your 401K tied to the success of the team? Save some of the  accolades for when I do something important like be a good father or an amazing husband! LOL

• Fans are superstitious. When the Patriots pulled to within 3 points, I actually went upstairs and put on my Jets sweatshirt because "they needed reinforcements"!! I knew it was completely illogical but I did it anyway! When they won, I partially credited the sweatshirt to their victory. I'm going to start using that in everyday life. Next time I have a salary negotiation, I'm going to wear my lucky blue boxer briefs and attribute my raise to fortuitous underwear.

• Fan-dom separates friends and makes for strange bedfellows. I have had some of my best peeps talk crap to me because I was a fan of one team or another, and vice versa. In fact, there are people close to me who I am not on good terms with for an entire season sometimes. On the other hand, while wearing my Jets gear, perfect strangers have come up to me and had an entire conversation with me just because we support the same team!! These are people who wouldn't think about talking to me otherwise. And then there are the people who I'm not really cool with that will leave me commiserate messages like we hung out every weekends for the last 20 years!! This is sports people. Religion and politics divide us enough. Let's not add professional games to the list too!! 

There are other weird things too. Shirtless buffoons with the teams name painted on their chest in -10 degree weather. People with entire rooms in their house dedicated to a team and they're NOT a representative of the front office. People who are fans of the Bills. These are all strange behaviors! But what the heck. We're FANS and by definition we're a little extreme...

Sleepless in the Apple

This morning I woke up at 6:00am which is early for me (don't judge me!). As I managed to find my phone in pitch black room to turn the new age alarm, I heard someone deactivate their car alarm on the street outside my window. Here I was grumpy that I was WAKING up at 6:00am and some poor soul had already risen, gotten ready, and was about to get in their vehicle. Or maybe that was an alarm being ACTIVATED and that poor soul was actually returning home. Or maybe that wasn't a poor soul at all and they were returning from a party! I reminded me that New York is unlike any other place on the planet.

In almost every other place, there is a norm when it comes to times of activity. People mostly rise in the morning during the week in time to go to jobs that have work hours that resemble 9-5. Not NYC. Countless times I've been on the road late at night and wondered why the road was FULL of other cars. Where were they all going at this ungodly hour, I always wondered. They truth was I was on the same road WITH them so they may be wondering the same thing about me! I've ridden the train in the middle of the night with full cars. There is a rush hour on NYC roads 6 days out of 7 and you're libel to run into traffic at 2:00am. It never ceases to amaze me. This is truly the city that never sleeps.

These are my thoughts...what are yours?

Christmas' last stand

As we say goodbye to Christmas, here is the last ornament off the tree. Good bye Xmas...hello winter...sigh...

Not Ranting

It has come to my attention that I am prone to the 'angry rant' post! So let's try to even things out a little. This post is not about what angers me. Instead this post is about the things that I am happy about and thankful for.

I do believe in giving thanks for all that you have because one of mottos that I live by is that "God doesn't give you more than you can handle". Most people interpret this to mean the he doesn't give you more pain and anguish than you can handle. I also believe that it applies to blessings. It is my belief that if you are not appreciative of the bounty that you have received then you have shown that you can't handle success. You'll soon see that your horn of plenty will start to dry up. So here are the things that I am thankful for:

I am thankful to be a dad. Not a father but a dad. A man fully engaged in the development of his child. Don't be mistaken; I'm not purporting that a man needs to be in a traditional situation. I understand that relationship between a man and a woman fail but the relationship that should not fail is the one between a man and his child. I am thankful that I even have the opportunity to fulfill that role. I know many couples that can not conceive and I know men who have been robbed of the ability by caustic adult relationships. I consider myself blessed to be a dad to my little one.

In that same vein, being a dad means being a teacher. So I am grateful to be a teacher but not just to my daughter but in a number of different arenas. I believe in sharing knowledge and I jump at the opportunity to do so. I am an educator by profession but I am called upon to be a mentor and teacher by other groups as well. I am thankful that I am viewed as a resource.

Funny enough, I also give thanks for my adversity. Just like light is defined by darkness and yin is incomplete without yang, success is sweeter when you know what defeat tastes like. There is something about achieving in face of adversity that makes your bounty even more special. Also, you learn not to sweat the small stuff because you know what a REAL problem looks like.

And lastly, I am sooooo thankful that I don't have to date in this current environment in NYC. I listen to my friends and family as they navigate the dating scene. When I was dating, here weren't all these crazy things to consider: facebook, online dating, sexting, video games (yes video games). Even the newspapers are making it difficult. One of the NYC daily published an article titled "Why NYC men suck"? C'mon man!!!! I say all this to say that I am happy I found my Queen.

So there you have it: a relatively happy, non-ranting post. You're welcomed. I cannot, however, guarantee that it won't be followed up by a post about some stupid thing that happens to me on the MTA!!

These are my thoughts...what are yours?

New Year and New Things and the stuff that got you here.

I imagine that almost everyone will be doing a New Years post and talk about the things that they will do differently in the new year. It is a bit of a tradition in most cultures. I'm no different however, I think it's important to remember to do the things in last year that have been successful and got you to the point where you CAN try new things. So here I go.


First let me talk about some of the new things that have already started to happen:

• The little girl is using the potty! As I see her exploring the world of grown up mommy and daddy, it makes me ask..."weren't you born 5 minutes ago? When did you start acting like a big kid!?!?"
• Speaking of my little lady, she has now discovered the phrase 'thank you'. She now thanks us for everything but especially for changing her diaper. Now in the world of a baby, having your diaper changed is pretty routine and hardly seems to needs gratitude for. But my daughter thanks me for it. Made me think what things I take for granted in my life and need to remember to thank someone for.
  
• This January marks the beginning of the first year that I will be utilizing ALL of the networks and skills that will help to take my photography to the next level. No more "side hustle" attitude. This is the year for me to treat it like a business. Look out for greatness.

Here are some things that I hope to continue:

• First and foremost, of course, I intend to continue to blog. I start this blog as practice for my photography blog. Over the last couple of months, I have enjoyed celebrating, complaining, rantings, philosophizing, and generating thought. I hope you stick with me this year and check out my photography blog when I launch that.
• Loving my wife. Sounds obvious but too often we get to a passive level of love with our mates. I intend to actively practice love with her as we approach our fifth anniversary and not fall into the blasé blasé rut.
• Enjoy the marvels of parenthood and not get bogged down with the challenges. Being a dad or mom is very difficult but extremely rewarding. At the end of the day, you make a decision as to which description of your experience that you will use.
• Continue to seek out mentorship opportunities. I have been given much and I will continue to seek out ways to give back.

Well that's all for now. Hope I continue to entertain you and make you think. Oh yeah...J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!!!!