Happy birthday to me!

Last Wednesday was my birthday. I am now twice the age of a legal drinking adult in this country. Birthdays are a time for reflective and introspection normally. A time where you measure up where you are in comparison to the dreams and aspirations you had for yourself at this age. We all do it and I do it every year. Inevitably the 'planned' you tends to fall short of the 'actual' you ...unless of course you're Bill Gates or Barack Obama (I can't imagine that their 'planned' selves was greater than the reality of their present!). Then come the questions: when should I have gone left instead of right; when should I have zigged instead of zagged; quite simply, what would my life have been like if I made different decisions?

Every birthday I contemplate these questions, as they pertain to me. I wonder what my life would be like if I put more energy into my academics, or took an internship, or never got married the first time, or simply took an opportunity across country. The 'what ifs' muddle and crowd my consciousness to the point of tainting the joy of my present situation. Until this year.

This year I woke up, rode my bike for the first time in a year, took a great picture of boats in Brooklyn, bought a new phone, hung out with my daughter, ate at my favorite greasy spoon for lunch and at a great new place (for me) for dinner, and spent a wonderful evening with my wife to cap it off. Not once did I compare my life to what my youthful, inexperienced self thought it should be. Not once. I hadn't even realized that I didn't do my yearly ritual until the next day on the way to work. I wondered why and what was different about this birthday and then it hit: I don't care about where I thought i was supposed to be because I'm very happy where I AM!!! I have a great career at an institution that I am happy at, I have a great family that supports me, I get to work with beautiful people through photography, we have a roof over our head and amazing friends by side! I'm there.

Now does this mean that this is the pinnacle of where my life could be? Of course not! I could be richer, thinner, and more famous, if I put my mind to it. But right here? This works for me! I didn't even really want anything for my birthday except this quirky wand remote control (which I got!). I'm so content, it's ludicrous, as Mike Tyson would say. And that's the lesson, I guess: look around and see what's working for you and revel in THAT, as opposed obsessing about where you should have been. That doesn't mean that you stop reaching for your goals. Keep striving but learn to stop and pat yourself on the back every now and again. You deserve it. I know I do.

These are my thoughts....what are yours?